Red Flags on Love/Reconcilation Cases


Good Morning lovies,Since I'm clearly a masochist who loves punishment (or just want a lot of crying in my inbox), today I'd like to answer a client's request to know how it is I can “just tell” when a reconciliation working or love working (or, honestly any working at all, just people tend to forget that most thinking work to death and spell harming behaviors really do revolve around love matters,) is going to fall flat. I will answer this with a focus on love matters because in some of my bulleted points, it is a psychological point rather than psychic/occult. *You persistently ask me when a specific event will happen which is directly tied to your spell, and ask after intricate details as to how and why. Don't get me wrong, this is a very common question, and 4 out of 5 times, it's relatively harmless, because the person asking it of me does not constantly ask it of me, and schedule time to re-ask me, and demand more specifics of this event and more of them and more and more and more and to be sure on the date, and then they mark the date down and get a case of vapors when their “death clock” causes it to fall flat. Now, as I am the person who literally brought “thinking spellwork to death” and “lust for results” into the lingo of modern spellcasting (even people who have no fucking clue who I am use my terms now, and it's discussed rather than just a brief mention like I had in my novice days, if you even got that back then,) as you can imagine I can point out what is lust for results and the above is clearly so. It is TOXIC THINKING right there. So, when I cast a spell, I put an order in for a specific thing. HOW or WHY I get that specific thing should not be in my mind at all. Why? Because if I start trying to suss out HOW AND WHY prior to the spell manifesting, what I do is I am doing the equivalent of driving a car with say a full tank of gas up and down several routes to my destination, trying to figure out the best one, and when the car runs out of gas, I am bitching about how it died before I can get where I wanted to be. This is because thoughts have energy, and when you think about how and why it would manifest, as well as how and why it can't, you are running the energy out on that spellwork because the spell will take the path of least resistance (let's compare this with your car automatically knowing the best route) and generally speaking, it's usually a relatively obvious course of actions that will happen for that spell to manifest, BUT you will often be a bit surprised that it never occurred to you that some parts of it were how it would. So going back to our car example, let's say you get in the car, and it has the ability to allow you to drive, or you can just program your destination in. You program your destination, and then keep changing it to manual to look and see other routes by self driving it. The car runs out of fuel before you reach your destination. I, on the other hand, sit in an exact replica of your car, and I program in my destination, and then I play a game on my phone, occasionally looking up at the road, while the car drives me to where I want to go. I end up arriving quickly and with fuel to spare. Most people are going to unintentionally “divert” the car to peer into other routes to their destination (routes to manifestation,) but will not do it so often as to run out of fuel. Why do some people become addicted to asking this question? Mostly it springs from anxiety and seeking control, but also it derives from being quite uncomfortable or lonely or sad, which are all emotions most of us want to remove ourselves from. They feel if they have a date to set failure by (ie a death clock, or let me know exactly when this will happen,) and some foreknowledge of how and why a spell will manifest, this offers security and comfort. Would that it were spells agreed with you on that. 😛 Instead you decide this has failed by (date) so now you're manifesting a delay by using a death clock, and any anxiety or distress you tie onto it not manifesting exactly as predicted (so even the slightest deviation is going to upset you,) will also drain energy from the eventual outcome.So, if you frequently want to know “is this going to happen, and how,” that is a red flag that you are going to experience spell failure. What is truly aggravating is that it is not a weird question to be asked so if it comes up to me once in the entire manifestation process, it's actually not a problem. It's pretty standard. It's when it's frequently asked that I put a much higher probability on spell failure.*You frequently ask me about your love-target's emotional state. Wow, huh, what? Isn't that what love is? Knowing that you ARE loved?No, not really, because as any psychic who is worth a shit will tell you, love does not mean that they are coming back or that they will treat you well, or that they will stay, or anything other than they love you. “Does so-and-so love me,” is most psychic's least liked question, particularly because it has little relevance other than that person loves you (not if they are coming back, not if they will be nice, not if they will behave, etc, etc.) Furthermore, I really recommend that if you are feeling super-sensitive right now that you not ask WHY someone is coming back (ie “what triggers this? how do they feel about me right now? What are they thinking?”), because in 30 years of doing readings, rare is it that their motives are pure or what you'd hoped, but tend to be selfish, and uninspiring, and to be fair at least twice a week someone is reduced to tears or anger when the motivation is sycophantic, selfish, shallow, or just not “because I love and need so and so,” at least when it begins to take root in the target. It is nearly always something you are better off not knowing what triggered it. But of course, I get to be an empath and experience all your pain and sadness and misery getting intentionally triggered by you when you ask this, despite my many, many, many attempts to remind you that it isn't often anything that will improve your outlook. Again, this isn't exactly surprising and it's a common question. It's the people who keep asking it that tend to be the ones with a problem. Allow me to let you in on something…you really don't want to know what people are thinking, because people are disgustingly self-absorbed creatures as a biological necessity. Add in the additional problem that spoiling children and giving them as little responsibility as possible has become the standard for parenting in the Western world, which in turn since spoiling children tends to cause narcissism, you have a recipe for a lot of people who are not exactly the self-sacrificing noble types as being love-targets. So when it comes down to it, if you want your rude, selfish ex back, expect your rude selfish ex to have all their reasons for coming back to be rude and selfish. If that's going to upset you, don't ask a question you don't want answered. *You fear your perceived “rival” for your beloved's attention. Wait, huh? Of course if my intended is paying attention to another that's going to upset me, right:?If you choose to let it. See, the problem you are having is one anyone with any psychological knowledge will tell you is that anything your EX does with someone else is none of your business. That's a hard lesson to learn but you will be happier for it. If my ex husband wants to date someone else when we break up, this likely has nothing to do with me….is this person my best friend? Are they even a person I know? No? Then it's not based on any feelings my ex has for me. It is about the two of them. I should not try to learn more or even believe it has anything to do with me.  The person who is bothered by this often has one of two problems – you forget that you do not OWN anyone. This person is not yours. If they were in a coupling with you, then, assuming you had no agreements to have any open ended type relationship, of course this is troubling that they are CHEATING. The thing is, if they aren't your partner, they cannot cheat on you. Your relationship is over and reconciliation can grant you a chance at a NEW relationship with the person, but that does not mean in the interim that the old relationship is still in existence. Furthermore, the level of histrionics rivals and perceived rivals cause only strengthens their relationship. THOUGHTS ARE ENERGY, and you can MANIFEST WHAT YOU FEAR because FEAR DRAWS TO YOU WHAT YOU FEAR. So, now because someone is so invested in what their ex is doing (it's generally an ex but sometimes a rival for love-interest's attentions,) with the rival, because they can't stop thinking about what went on or is going on, they then rile themselves into a bad emotional state whilst also often pushing a formative relationship into more. Love rivals are a huge pain in the ass for a spellcaster for hire. People have such a hard time letting it go or not overindulging in fantasies of what might be going on. They social media stalk, they constantly let it get in their head….it's a huge annoying problem and a lot of people have a hard time with it. You try to blow up any feelings the two parties have for a each other to please your client, and then the client adds strength to the undesired coupling by being afraid of it and manifesting strength for it. Yay. *You believe everything will go back to how it was. I don't even have to expound on this for more than a few sentences. If you believe that if I cast a spell that everything will return to how it was before your emotionally traumatic break changed you and then time passed and both of you changed than you are fooling yourself and will be dissatisfied with the outcome. Time passes and changes us. You must accept that. *You start getting angry about the time, money, and energy YOU invested on getting someone to come to you. Look, you and I understand each other here, because you bet your ass I invested a fuckload of my time, my money and my own energy working on this person (or on a personal target,) and I'm getting angry if you're ruining my work then complaining, but often am in a position where I'm trying to coach you through these bad behaviors you can't seem to shake, so now we are both probably a bit pissy. So if you start getting fussy to me or complaining that after all this that the target owes you something, I assure you, you are at a point where you likely are past help. Wait, what? Imagine you break your leg, and I put this leg in a cast for you. I tell you that you will need to be careful on that leg and not do anything to harm it (so this is like me telling you not to engage in spell killing behaviors,) and then you go and decide to go rock climbing the next day, break the leg worse, and come to me and demand I fix your ruined leg and cast for free, since clearly I did a shitty job. Of course, you didn't follow my instructions and went rock climbing (so this is like social media stalking, obsessing, or, I mean several lust for results behaviors, etc,) but I must just be the worst doctor ever if my cast for your leg isn't made of some adamantium metallurgy that nothing can get through and not you who went out rock climbing on it. SO unless I fix your destroyed cast, I'm going to have to hear how I'm a scam doctor. If I dare admonish you for your bad behaviors, again, I'm a scam doctor. Because the vast majority of my patients can follow instruction and do not engage in cast-destroying (spell killing) behaviors, I have enough to pay out of pocket to put another cast on (cast another spell.) Now you go skydiving the next day, and again complain of my shoddy work (that you destroyed again) and your grand investment. Yeah, I hate watching you destroy my work, too. Or maybe it's not that. You believe you caring about something and you spending money on it means you are owed something. So, you are the person who if you're caught holding a bloody knife while standing over a dying person who points at you and says you did it when the police show up, believes that since you spent money on a really good lawyer, you should be acquitted because you spent money. So if you work against the spell and act like a jerk to your “intended” since you spent money, that means you are owed their love and it's not fair if you don't have it. So, let's say my parent's dream for me was to be a rocket scientist. Fuck that I have no proclivity towards this, they just decided I was to be one. They invest money in the best schools and tutors and force me to repeat and repeat classes for something I don't really have the skills for, then say it's not fair when I don't get a job in it, because they cared so much for me to be a rocket scientist and invested so much money on my being one. Sure, every step of the way I was clearly not intended for such a job, and yet because they WANTED IT and INVESTED MONEY TO MAKE IT HAPPEN, they are “owed” it. Well when I graduate and prospective employers see I suck ass at rocket science, all that want and money…it amounts to nothing. And life is not a vending machine. You do not put money into it and something pops out. So if you believe you want a thing, but you are going to be defensive and rude and decide you are owed something, especially in a case wherein your intended did not ask you to invest time or emotion in getting them back, and you entirely ignored my instructions and persistently engaged in spell killing behaviors, and then think it is acceptable to get angry at your ex or at me, the person you need to get mad at is yourself. I think I have about ONE case a year where I'm stymied as to why it isn't coming together. Usually it still resolves and myself and the client are both surprised by the block. Most of the people who start complaining about all their “hard work” and their investment are virtually always engaged in obvious spell killing behaviors.*You are too much when your intended comes to you (or returns.) This is kind of an easy one to figure out….instead of being a bit detached and allowing a gunshy cautious person to come to you, you smother them with well-meaning, but off-putting behaviors. You overdo it, in other words. You're overwhelming. *You cry all the time. Say what you will about my outlook on crying, and you're right to believe it is the product of when I was raised, when we were taught that outside of a few specific situations that crying around others was an embarrassment and generally a waste of time as is (even on your own,) because you still had to do all you were obligated to, except now some people might think that you are mentally unwell (if you did it in front of others,) and you have a headache. It is a hugely pointless endeavor, and while it may get some pity, pity is not often useful. People feeling sorry for you is not people respecting you or caring about you. So if you think “I'm crying over (event,)” is in any way a useful thing, then I assure you, I don't want you to be uncomfortable or upset enough to engage in tears, of course, but it won't help anything. It is something I politely wait for you to stop doing so that we can continue, or you're basically wasting energy on it and now you have a headache and need to still do all things expected of you otherwise.  Everyone cries, and there's nothing wrong with that you became frustrated every once in a great while and erupted into tears while by yourself or with your bestie or someone that it is situationally- or always- “appropriate” to share that with (again, we are falling back on my childhood having taught me that this is a small number of people, and particular situations like death of a loved one are far more appropriate than “my ex got on tinder” for public displays of tears.) However in saying as much, I've yet to find the client who thinks frequent crying is normal who actually got what they wanted. It's usually driving themselves to a panic and then having a meltdown which is implicative of anxious obsession, which is in turn lust for results. If you are frequently crying, you probably will be disappointed. It's a huge red flag for me. *You read this and believe that spells are impossible to manifest, then. Look, the average person asks me to get them something, has a few moments of wondering how it will happen, or asking me “unhelpful” questions, or even does a few of these behaviors minimally in the course of a love working….and yet this is NOT something which they suggest is normal, helpful, or even expected of everyone to engage in. They really do just let it go, and come back with great news about the work manifesting. If you don't feel you can do that, I strongly suggest you avoid love/reconciliation magic altogether. I can't wait for the inevitable backlash from this article, but I'm hoping it's helped most of you! 🙂 No this isn't about one person, because I see the above behaviors in about ONE IN FIVE LOVE SPELL CLIENTS so it's relatively frequent. ~Cat

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